Sunday, April 4, 2010

two dollars

toward the end of Saturday night i had a couple that looked kind of familiar but i couldn't place them, which generally means they didn't order anything unusual or tip badly the last time i waited on them. How wrong i was...midway through the meal the female half of the couple spoke up, asking me "didn't you use to work at (insert redneck bar name here)?" And then i remembered--they were the last customers i dealt with on the night i quit. Now i worked at Redneck Bar last spring-summer, and due to bustiness i was frequently assigned to being the shot girl. For anyone not in the know that means i had to traipse around the bar, fighting my way through drunken crowds while schlepping a heavy tray of shots. The shots come in test tubes and are 2-3 dollars a piece, of which i got 25 cents for each one sold plus tips. As a regular cocktail waitress i had an official Redneck Bar tshirt to wear that had "tequila--helping women lower their standards" emblazoned on the back but as shot girl i was encouraged to wear something tight/low cut and to leave my hair down. The other waitress that shot girled would give titty shots to guys she liked the looks of (push boobs together, stick test tube between them, enjoy!) but i refused to, despite being asked to all night long (i do have a few priciples, ya know). So on what turned out to be my last night i was out on the smokers' patio with my tray of shots when this huge drunk girl grabbed me, telling me it's her birthday and demanding a titty shot. She about ripped my shirt off in the process. I didn't feel like fighting about it so her boyfriend and all the other people on the patio watched me give a fat drunk girl a titty shot. And for what you ask? A two dollar tip, that's what! That's when i knew it was time for me to leave Redneck Bar...i guess the server moral of the story is that i can put up with having my body parts grabbed nightly, cleaning toxic waste customer restrooms, drunken bartenders ripping me off, and a live country band playing the same crap every night, but two that's the limit of human endurance!!
so back to last night--to sum up, as a regular waitress i was tipped five dollars and some change, but as a purveyor of boobies i got two dollars. This is a crazy world we live in...

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